3 days till IRONMAN - Things just got real

Wednesday October 31 - - this is the most non - traditional Halloween I have ever experienced, and I have to admit - I kind of liked it!  This will be no surprise to anyone who knows me, but I'm warning you now - one of these years though, we will have a real Halloween and shock the pants off my kids ( ha ha).  

This morning started bright and early, my mom and dad, Duane and I went to volunteer at the Ironman Registration.  They had a LOT of volunteers today, and there wasn't a lot for us to do, so I got my own registration package picked up and we went 'shopping' at the Ironman tent - that was fun!  

I did a chocolate milk commercial, in hopes of winning a spot at Kona and some training, and some money, I don't really know. . . I told them I was lactose sensitive, but that my kids like chocolate milk, and they said, "just say what your kids would say about chocolate milk!"  Okey dokey!

It was exciting to talk to many other people today from all over the world who were doing their 'first Ironman' here in Florida.  It helped me feel not so alone.  It was good.  But it did make it REAL!

We went to Taco Bell for lunch and they have some new sayings on their hot sauce packets - this was my favorite one for today!

We came home and I was exhausted from being around all the people and the shopping - so I had a nap - hoping that when I woke up, I would feel this way:

Sigh.  I am still feeling pretty lazy and tired - so I tried to gather my children to come on my 20 minute run - the only one who was game was Emma - so off we went.  Her stomach began to bother her after about 10 minutes - so I did the rest by myself.  It had gotten pretty windy by this point - which I am used to - but having sand blowing in my face - not so used to.  My garmin told me that I was running fast today - interesting.  The forecast for Saturday still looks perfect - - - and I am hopeful.

Duane took Jack and my bike back to the Ironman Tent, and got 'race wheels' put on my bike - she is looking ready.  He cleaned her, and put new bar tape on too.  

We watched a Kona DVD that they gave away today - it was inspiring.  That is what this is all about - determination, conquering, the human spirit, giving back, and giving your all....

My brother Rick and his wife Carol arrived tonight - Happy Halloween!  

We picked up a pirate ship lego kit (that was on clearance), played "Don't Eat Pete" ( with Jack-o-lanterns), put on some temporary Halloween tattoos, and played some cards with Aunt Carol.  Perfect.

Duane cooked and stretched my new bike shoes tonight - we were both a bit nervous - but it is done. . . . I am now headed to bed because tomorrow is COMIN'!

4 days till IRONMAN - feeling tired and lazy

The taper is a funny thing . . . . .

If you are feeling tired and lazy, and like there is no way you can do this thing. . .

. . . . you are on track?

I'm not feeling the humidity of Florida . . . at all.  Weird.  Maybe it just isn't hot enough?

It is really windy here today - they are saying it is some of the remnants of hurricane Sandy. . . I hope it passes soon.  That hurricane has devastated NYC.  Now we are not sure if we will be able to travel there next week or not.  Time will tell - I'm trying not to worry about it, and just focus on the task at hand.

Ironman Florida - it really is beautiful here....

Three generation picture on Panama Beach - it doesn't get any better than this!!
Emma (16), with her mother Patricia - aka me - (40), and my mother LaVern (68)  

I finally did my swim tonight. . .  like I said - it is windy today and the ocean is showing it!  I swam to a buoy out there - and I just didn't even think about it.  I am finding that it is easier to not even 'think about it'.  Just go and do it.

Here is a picture of Mary and I after my first ocean swim.  I did it!!  I didn't even freak out too much about sharks . . .

Mary and Mom @ Panama City Beach

The Sunset was absolutely beautiful, I can't believe that I was swimming in the ocean at sunset - I have to say it is a dream come true!  I didn't see any sharks, or jellyfish, only the bubbles from my hand pushing through the water.  I would think "what was that?  Oh, just my hand."  Then a few minutes later I would think,  "what was that?  Oh, just my hand". . . . .

I can be quick to forget.

Here are some pictures so I can hopefully REMEMBER how this felt today.

Oh those waves were strong - but I powered through them.
The waves knocked my goggles off once - but I miraculously found them!!

If you look really closely to the left of the yellow buoy -
you will see both my hands raised in victory that I made it!!

My ocean swim at sunset on Panama Beach Florida
Just 3 nights away from starting Ironman Florida 2012

5 days till IRONMAN - loving every wonderful, horrible minute of this.

We believe in long Sunday (for me Saturday) runs.  We believe in tempo runs and fartleks.  We believe joggers are runners.  We believe in cross-country.  We believe in big marathons.  We believe in fun runs and jingle jogs.  We believe running is therapy.  We believe your personal best isn't always a PR.  We believe running in the dark, in the cold, in the heat, in the humidity, in the rain and in the snow is part of the deal.  We believe in skipping a day.  We believe there is a correlation between inspiration and perspiration.  We believe there is no finish line.  

This came from a website that I follow called I <3 to run (aka I love to run).  I felt this picture and thought were VERY appropriate as I DO believe in all these things, and every minute right now is wonderful and horrible.  Confusing feelings - I know - I am feeling them.

Especially today I am feeling these wonderful horrible feelings. . . . as we are on the last leg of our train trip, I am feeling like I am losing my grasp on the safety of it all being so far away (distance and time) . . . . as I type we are only 3 hours away from New Orleans, and then 5 hours away from Panama City, Florida . . . 5 days till Ironnman

oh reality - you are freaking me out!

6 days till IRONMAN - Let's DO this thing!

So today is my official rest day. . . . (although I think with travel - I get tomorrow off too, but officially, this is my last Sunday to process, dissect, think about, get my head around 'what I did last week'  - then plan, process, dissect, think about, get my head around 'what I need to do this week.'  

I decided I am just going to take this week - one day at a time, cause I get a bit overwhelmed when I think about what I need to do THIS week.  So today - 6 days before Ironman - all I need to do is 

ride the train

eat properly

drink my water

wash my hands

keep healthy

remind myself what I have done - just one step, one day at a time.

remind myself that I can do this

remind myself that I am ready physically, mentally, and spiritually.

the words that keep going through my head at weird times are these:

"Let's DO THIS THING!"

Not sure what I am going to do with myself next Sunday. . . . . just REST I guess.  I'll think about that -next week.

Duane, Emma and I were having a discussion today about 'free agency', and how many times, people get confused and think that free agency is the power to choose.  But really, we all have the power to choose, what it really means is that depending on what choices we make - we either become free or not. . .  

I liken that to the lifestyle choice that I have made, to eat healthy, to exercise regularly, to push myself, to improve myself - the choices that I make every day have made me free - and now I am free to do what I want -  to do an Ironman. . . . 

I am really enjoying where I am at physically, mentally, and spiritually, and I need to remember - it is because of all the little choices I have made in the last 5 years that have brought me to this place - and I can stay here by making similar choices.

I am free and able to do whatever I want to do  - even IRONMAN!

"LET'S DO THIS THING!"

Today was a big traveling day - we rode the train all day - thank heavens I got a sleeper car.  Duane had a nap in it this morning and I had a nap this afternoon.  The train was 3.5 hours late, so we didn't get to go into Chicago for pizza, we got off the train at 7:55 - walked VERY quickly to the station, then to a train that turned out to be the wrong train, so back to the station, and then to the right train, just in time for the train to leave the station - phew!  We even saw our luggage and my bike on a baggage car. . . . we are just hoping that it made it onto the new train in time too!  

"LET'S DO THIS THING!"

1 week till IRONMAN - ready like a horse race!

I am getting excited to be with so many of 'my people'.  Really excited.

The adrenaline is already pumping through my veins - when I do my little workouts these days ( now that I am 'tapering'). . . . . . I feel like a horse at the gate - rearing up . . . . ready to BOLT!

Then 9pm rolls around - and I am exhausted!!!

What a natural high I am having -  I AM LOVING THIS!

"Only those who will risk going too far 

can possibly find out how far one can go." 

- T.S. Eliot

So I have been reading the book "One Gear, No Brakes" by Lori Ann Muenzer.

I can relate to a lot that she is talking about here in chapter 7.

"mental training consists of running an ideal race, from pre-race prep to post-event warm down, in your head.

He keeps me on the edge of exhaustion.  Not enough stress means not enough improvement.  Too much leads to breakdown.

This training is to control your emotions both in training and racing.  A race is won before you're anywhere near the race itself.  You must believe you can win before you win."

So I went to sleep tonight 'visualizing' my race. . . . hmm . . .when you fall asleep in the middle of 'visualizing', you have really weird dreams about the race.  I had a weird one last night. . . . didn't know which way to go on the run, then I lost my shoes - I guess I took a break and took my shoes off - very confusing. . . my sister was there, and she was done - she had started earlier than I had, I guess you could start whenever you wanted to.  It was a weird dream.  I learned from this dream that:
1.  I need to visualized while I am awake so that I can control my thoughts
2.  I need know the race route, as to take the fear out of the unknown.
3.  Call Carrie and wish her well on her 1/2 Marathon that she is doing the same day as my Ironman.

So - I am sitting on the train, 9pm, somewhere in the dark, in North Dakota.  When I wake up I will be in St. Paul Minneapolis.  I really love traveling by train . . . it forces us all to slow down and relax.  No where to go, and I enjoy the clickety clack . . . . it will be a great sound to fall asleep to.

So getting ready to go on this trip just about 'did me in'.  Wow - packing and thinking about what we might need in so many different climates, and purposes, and traveling, and food, and snacks for the kids, and 'my dietary needs', and workouts, and recovery, and sightseeing - and packing - - - - oh I hate packing, and lists, so many lists - 7 people for 24 days - who does this?!?! . . . . . but we did it, we made it - we are on the train, and there is nothing we can do about anything.  Even as I type, the train is stopped, trying to fix something. . . . so I think I am just going to 'go to bed' - and hopefully when I wake up, they fixed the problem and we are back on track ( ha ha).

In our room when we got here today were these cute little chocolates with the perfect message.  I need to remember the advice I give to everyone else, 

I have trained for this, I have done the hard work, now is the time to 'have fun'.  Enjoy the journey.

2 weeks till IRONMAN - I did change and I did find myself

So I have been thinking about this picture a lot lately.

I didn't change, I just found myself. . . .

I'm not sure how I feel about this statement. . .

I think one of the reasons I signed up to do Ironman was because I really wanted to change.  To do something so hard that it would cement the changes that I have made in the last year - actually in the last 5 years.  I want this change.

During the last year, I think that I HAVE changed. . . . truly changed.  I also believe that in that change I have also found myself.  So I think I have done both - change and find myself.

I am hoping that I have paid the price, that I have worked hard enough that the change is permanent.  One of the greatest fears that I often have is that I may become part of the 95% of those who gain their weight back.

I hope and pray that this change sticks. . . .

Many nights I climb into bed after a hard day and sigh under my breath - "I love my life".  I really do.

Here is a great Bruce Lee story about change. . . . .

Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace.  We'd run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes.  Just under eight minutes a mile (Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six-and-a half minutes per mile).

So this morning he said to me "We're going to go five."  I said, "Bruce, I can't go five.  I'm a helluva lot older than you are, and I can't do five."  He said "When we get to three, we'll shift gears and it's only two more and you'll do it."  I said "Okay, I'll go for it."

So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I'm okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out.  I'm tired, my heart's pounding, I can't go any more and so I say to him, "Bruce if I run any more," - and we're still running -"if I run any more I'm liable to have a heart attack and die."

He said, "Then die."  It made me so mad that I went the full five miles.  Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it.  I said, you know, "Why did you say that?"

He said, "Because you might as well be dead.  Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it'll spread over into the rest of your life.  It'll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being.

There are no limits.

There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

(From the Art of Expressing The Human Body)

So doing Ironman is not about finding my limits, it is about going beyond my plateaus. . . .

3 weeks till IRONMAN - I have, I can, I will

I learned while doing my brick on Thanksgiving Monday running in the gloomy rain . . . .

I HAVE done this before
I CAN do this again
I WILL do this now!

I said it over and over until I believed it. ( it took me 20 minutes to figure it out, and I repeated it for another 10 = a great run in the rain!)

This week felt completely insane - I was double booked almost every day ( which I HATE, because I am always disappointing someone - and the thought of that long list of things to do exhausts me, as well, I make EVERYTHING bigger than it is, everytime. . . . so that list this past week was completely impossible in my mind. . . AND, when I don't get everything done on that list, I am a failure. . .

What a mess!

Needless to say, through the challenges of the week: weather, time, and having a life, I got all my workouts in!

Success.

Tuesday was a huge day - I did Tuesday's workout and Wednesday's workout all in one day, as Wednesday was the XC Zone Meet in Medicine Hat.

Wednesday on a bus for 6 hours and and a XC meet in the cold rain and snow, but we still had a GREAT day!  We now have 6 kids going to provincials on the 20th.

Thursday was my go to Lethbridge day and swim - I love Thursdays.

Friday I rode 100 miles!  I started at 9:30am and rode towards Calgary - ya, you heard me right, Calgary.  I was having a GREAT ride, and then I took the off ramp at Fort Macleod and was BLASTED by a horrendous wind!  There was actually a sign there that said "CAUTION - extreme wind gusts next 36km".

SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!?

YUP.

My ride slowed down, and I trudged through the wind.  Despised the 'oversized semi's carrying giant truck parts, or tractors' who blew by me, and I would flutter like a leaf as they passed so close - afraid I was going to fly into the ditch every time.  When the giant trucks carrying cattle would drive by and spew stinky wetness on me - I was sooo grossed out. . . . but I continued on.  Just before Nanton, I turned around to get my final 12 miles completed with a tail wind - AHH.  That was SO much better.

I did it!  I made it!  100 miles.  I feel like I am 'in the club' now. . . funny thing . . .

a lovely autumn day for a long bike ride.....

7 hours of this kind of view. . . . .  

I think Florida will be a little bit easier than today because

1.  it will NOT  have signs stating the painfully obvious truth  "Caution - extreme wind gusts"
2.  it will NOT  have 50 miles of headwinds, and 40 miles of cross winds
3.  it will have more easily accessible aid stations - I shouldn't have to go into a truck stop and buy water or use the bathroom...
4.  I am no longer intimidated by the 112 mile bike ride.  YAY!
5.  I found the type of shorts I need to ride in. . . . . no shammy, no seams = much more COMFORT

Duane picked me up at the 100 mile point and we headed up to Calgary for the Temple Open House.  When we got there, I threw a top and skirt on right over my biking clothes - literally.  When we got home at 1am, I still had my heart rate monitor on.  Funny.  Saturday morning was coming fast . . .

I headed out for my 10 mile run at 7am with my "run like a mother" group.  We ran 3 mile together and - kept a great pace, but when we finished, I realized I forgot to start my 'garmin'.  I headed out for my last 7 miles, and found it REALLY hard!  The wind had picked up, and I was running into a headwind (sound kind of familiar?)  I felt like I needed to walk almost every 1/2 mile!  I was really struggling.  I finally turned around and started heading back when I got a weird pain in my left ankle - I would stretch it, and run again, PAIN,  stretch and run, PAIN, stretch and walk, then run, then. . . PAIN.  I ended up walking almost the last 2 miles of my run.  That was frustrating.  I hope that a day of rest will be all I need. . . . .

I still haven't figured out what the pain was - it seems to be gone now. . . it was like I needed to 'crack' my ankle. . . I hope I don't get that again. . . . I will have to ask Erin about that one. . .

till then I am going to enjoy my Sunday 'rest day'......

and then I need to remember. . .

You were strong enough to get this far, 
You are strong enough to keep going...

4 weeks till IRONMAN - Just for today!

Only 4 weeks till the big day!

Only 3 weeks till the train leaves!

Only 2 weeks of hard training left!

Only 1 week to worry about just today.

That is right - I just need to worry about this week - or really just TODAY.

With only 4 weeks left till I am swimming in the ocean at the start line of Ironman Florida, I am having a tendency to get a little overwhelmed (ok, a LOT overwhelmed), and so, it reminds me of this poem:


Just for today: I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today: I will be happy. 
This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today: I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself into it.

Just for today: I will try to strengthen my mind. 
I will study. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today: I will exercise my soul in three ways: 
I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it
will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-- just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt: they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today: I will be agreeable. 
I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low,be courteous,criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody else but myself.

Just for today: I will have a program.
I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and Indecision.

Just for today: I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. 
During this half hour, sometime I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today: I will be un-afraid.
Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give back to me. 


I hope that I will continue to remember the lessons that this poem teaches me.  I just need to stay in the moment of TODAY.

I will get to the start line of Ironman in just 28 days - just focussing on TODAY.

It has been a challenge this week as the weather turned cold and SNOWY!  We had quite a blizzard in Cardston on Tuesday night, and even today, Saturday - there is still snow around!  Sheesh!

I tried to go and do my 6.5 hour bike ride on Friday - I got to Magrath, I rode through snow, rain, wind - and it was only +5 degrees celcius.  That is too cold to ride a bike - So Duane came and picked me up, I got a hot chocolate at the store in Magrath and I went home and rode a couple more hours on my trainer - not near 6.5 hours - but it is going to have to do.  (How is that for 'telling myself' that every workout doesn't have to be perfect!)  I am kind of proud of myself - and I am moving on.  I will have to try to find a bit of a warmer day in the next 2 weeks to get my 7 hour bike ride in. . . . it will work out.  That is my new easygoing, flexible attitude. - we will see how long it lasts ( ha ha)

Saturday I stuck with my plan and did my 10 mile run - all is well.  Only 1 person came and ran with me at 'run like a mother'.  We also got our run done before it started raining - which is always nice.  I am really glad that she came - it helps me so much to run a portion of my long run with someone.  I don't think they know how much it helps me, in fact, I had no idea how much it helps me until my last few runs.  I think because I do so much training on my own, of which I don't mind, but it is a nice change of pace and scenery to feel like I am not alone in this.  So thank you 'run like a mother' girls.

It is Thanksgiving weekend, and I am SO thankful for SO many things!

my health
my ability to exercise
my opportunity to train for ironman
my family and how they support me
my home
our community
the opportunity that we all have to change
the beauty of nature and the world around me
seasons
'run like a mother' group
my faith

I could keep going on this list, but I really should get focused on TODAY!