5 weeks till IRONMAN - recovery or self-sabotage?

"The fastest way to change the way you feel 

is to change the way you move.  

Emotion is created by motion."

- Anthony Robbins

This quote is so true for me.  This is key for me because not only am I a very emotional person,  I am also an emotional eater - which can cause problems for my lifestyle - until I learned this truth. . . . I can change my emotion by motion . . . genius.

So the key for me when I am feeling sad or stressed, tired or cranky, is to

go for a run,
go for a swim or
go for a bike ride.

I love this picture. . . . . it is so true!

This past week I have made some interesting discoveries. . . . 

As it was a recovery week for me, I was SO looking forward to the physical break.  But what I learned is that emotionally I need exercise to help me cope with stress.  By about Thursday I was just 'not quite right', and I wasn't sure why . . . until I realized that the reason I was feeling overwhelmed, and unsure of myself was that I didn't seem to have the outlet to relieve my stress. .  . interesting.

I guess I will be glad to get back at it for the next 3 weeks, and hopefully I can find some other outlet for stress so I can be more prepared mentally for  my 2 week taper before the race.  

Another discovery is this. . . I am a classic case of "approach avoidance".  What is approach avoidance you ask?  Well, I looked it up on google and found this definition.

Approach Avoidance aka self sabotage.  

Self sabotage, Psychological Reversal and 

Approach Avoidance . . . same thing, 

why we screw up or choke at crucial moments.

Approach-avoidance conflicts are choices regarding something positive, such as going out to a party, that has a negative valence (avoidance), such as getting grounded for being at the party. These decisions and the emotional state of ambivalence cause stress.

Approach-avoidance conflicts can occur when one goal contains both positive and negative characteristics. For example, an individual may be nervous to fly in an airplane, but if that is the only means of transportation to visit family, the individual experiences an approach-avoidance conflict. The more motivated the individual is to achieve a goal, the greater the likelihood to approach the goal. If there are competing feelings to a goal, the stronger of the two will triumph. Individuals may experience greater motivation to achieve a positive goal as the individual gets closer to the goal (e.g., excitement in packing a suitcase for the trip). In contrast, individuals may also experience decreased motivation to reach a negative goal as the individual gets closer to that goal (e.g., anxiety at the airport terminal). As the negative goal becomes nearer, the desire to avoid a negative goal is theorized to be much stronger than the desire to achieve a positive goal. ^[1]

AHA moment for me - so I never really understood this concept until this week. . . . I found this past week that I seem to be on the verge of sabotaging myself and I couldn't figure out why?!?!  Duane figures I have the recipe for a perfect storm brewing.  Been working hard for weeks on end, getting close to the end, getting tired, getting nervous, getting REAL!  Not sure if I am ready for this - but there is no turning back now. . . so in order to stay in control, I begin to self - sabotage - wow - when I put it down in words, it makes me feel kind of messed up?!

Well, I am kind of glad this 'recovery week' is over so I can get back to being physically exhausted instead of mentally exhausted!  It's easier.

6 weeks till IRONMAN - I'm busy getting stronger

It has been another great week.  My toughest workout this week was my 6 hour bike ride on Friday.  What amazed me is that a couple of weeks ago I had a 5.5 hour bike ride which turned into a 6 hour bike ride (miscalculated distance and time) and I was kind of a mess when I got home.  Friday's  6 hour bike ride was just fine - when I texted Duane to come and drive behind me for my last 30 minutes, as it was dark outside, he even said that I looked strong.  I think I am getting stronger.  

I have also been feeling like sometimes it is just too much, I am tired of being so busy, of driving to Lethbridge to swim, to fit in bike rides and runs everyday. . . . but the above quote says it all.

I know that the training I am doing now will make the next quote to be true. . . . Not sure if Ironman will be pleasant and easy, but the training is making me stronger and more ready.  

"Choose what is best, 

and habit will make it 

pleasant and easy." 

- Plutarch

I am pretty sure now that I can do this - and this upcoming week is a recovery week - which I am SUPER excited about!  The following 3 weeks are my longest hardest workouts of the year . . . and then  . . . tapering for the big day. . . it seems to be coming so fast!!

WOW!

This quote reminds me of my mother because she keeps telling me how excited she is for me, and how much I am going to enjoy Ironman.  I am not sure how much I am going to enjoy it. . . but I know that the training I am doing is making me ready, and I am getting stronger.  

Pleasant and easy?  I don't think those are quite the words I would use to describe it - but I do think I am not going to die - which is good.

7 weeks till IRONMAN - the truth of our running

Sometimes, and for all of us this is true, we are running away . .
Sometimes we are running to search . . .
But if we realize deep down that the truth of our running
is that in our running, in our moving, we 'find' ourselves . . .
Then for us running is the gift 
that lets us know ourselves deeper. 
- Lizzy Hawker

This week was a good training week.  I had to be flexible (not a great character trait of mine - but I am learning).  I switched around a few of my workouts, and I got them all in - SUCCESS!

My long run this week was scheduled to be an 18 mile run.  I was nervously excited about it.  I had never run that far before - ever.  I never thought I could run that far, and most importantly, I never WANTED to run that far.  I have always wanted to do an Ironman. . . but I have NEVER wanted to run a marathon  . . . . I know, I know . . there is this pesky thing at the end of the Ironman called a marathon. . . how can you WANT to do an Ironman, and NOT a marathon. . . they go hand in hand. . . it's complicated - but it is how I have always felt.  

By Friday night, I was feeling pretty ready, which surprised me a bit because I was SOO exhausted last week at the same time.  I updated my status on Facebook to this . . . 

Run like a mother tomorrow - are you up for 6 miles with me???
I am hoping you will all run mile 6-12 with me @7.
Meet you at the pool.  I am thinking down the Beazer Road and back . . .
could be beautiful!  The last 6 miles I will be having a serious life
discussion with me, myself and I. . . . I am kind of nervous, 
and kind of excited . . . btw. . .
Ironman Florida is only 7 more weeks from tomorrow.

On Friday night I got a phone call from a new friend - Becka - She was scheduled to do a 20 mile run on Saturday - and wanted to share the experience.  I was nervous to run with someone new - but  I have to say it was a match made in heaven.  She paced me perfectly - and Karen said it just right . . . "I'm sure glad you two found each other!"  I'm sensing she is not up for +3 hour runs on Saturday mornings. . . yet . . . 

So the truth of the run is:
when you run 20 miles with someone - you are friends forever.
if after 20 miles you still feel alright, you can run a marathon.
one foot in front of the other, a little ibuprofen and a hunk of time = 20 miles complete
20 mile run = I am really proud of myself!

Someone told me this week that I was passionate.  The more I thought about it, the more it made sense for me - and then I remembered this quote.

"Passion is not Arrogance.  Have you ever heard that story about Babe Ruth pointing towards the fence right before he belted a home run exactly where he said he would?  No one even knows if it's true or not, it's like a myth.  But man, you sure want to believe that someone could have that much faith in themselves, in what they do, in what they're capable of, that they'd guarantee they're going to something and then go out ahead and do it." - Nike

Only 7 weeks till Ironman - here's to passion, here's to finding out what is over that horizon, and here's to going out and doing it!

8 weeks till IRONMAN - So tired, no regrets

"Never give up on a dream 

just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.  

The time will pass anyway."

-Earl Nightingale

It has been quite a week!

I cannot believe how tired I was on Saturday and Sunday.

But still . . . .

NO REGRETS!

This is what my training schedule looked like this week intertwined with real family life 'back to school' week.  I can't believe I got it all in - again. . . 

Monday - Labour Day Holiday - Brick - kids home all day, working on the garage siding - the day before school!

Tuesday - First Day of School, excitement galore!!  School Council Meeting, Kindergarten Orientation, kids home at noon, 2 hour bike ride ( on a new seat which was fairly uneventful), dinner, drive to Lethbridge, Costco Run, swam from 8-9, get organized and drive home, put away Costco stuff - finally get to bed by 11pm.  Sigh

Wednesday - Get kids off to school, take Kate with me to the gym to do 'tempo run'.  Gym card does not work, so off to the clinic to get a card from Linda - oh and pick up my letter for the government proving that Kate has been living with us for the last 4 years. . . . . government....  Over to the hotel to get my new key card for the gym - back to the gym - card does NOT work, so back to the hotel to check the card, they gave me another card - back to the gym - card STILL DOES NOT WORK! UGH!  I see that Greg is at the pool, and the front door is open. . . we sneak in through the pool doors - yaa!  Down to the gym, finally getting going - it is almost 10am - I have not eaten any breakfast - I am hungry - 8 miles here I come.  I got Kate watching a movie on the ipad, but she still asks lots of questions and interupts me . . . NOT on the mile.  We made it through - and boy did my smoothie hit the spot when I got home, and my oatmeal, and some cottage cheese, and . . and . . . and an hour later, some eggs . . . . mmmm.  Kate and I made rice krispie squares for the ward cornbust and then we went to husk corn, and then back to the ward cornbust ( like a group potluck bbq)  I took my own salad for 2 reasons; 1.  I despise standing in line for food.  2.  I don't eat most of that stuff.  I did get a cob of corn and I did leave the premises when the desserts came out . . . . 

Thursday - After many bussing issues and lots of confusion I got Kate to school for her very first day of kindergarten - I quickly threw together a lunch and some snacks and Karen came and picked me up for our girls trip into Lethbridge to go swimming.  It was a full day trip, we got our swim in and a few other errands completed - it was great!  Thursday night was off to a Stake Young Women's activity that took the rest of my evening.  When I finally got home - I was pooped!

Friday - I worked around the house and got chatting with Suzanne, when she offered to watch Kate so I could get out on my 5.5 hour bike ride.  It took me a while to get myself organized - but finally about 12:30 I was on my way.  I rode to Lethbridge (to the construction) and back. . . . by 5.5 hours I was not home yet and was REALLY ready for Duane to come and pick me up, so I texted him, but was then chased by a rez dog ( eeeyyaaa), still no reply from Duane (his phone died), so I had to venture the last 1/2 an hour home (which felt like 2 hours), as I was OUT of liquid, my new seat was hurtin', and I was TIRED!  I eventually made it home, and attacked the fountain before I headed out on my 10 minute run.  I had the same thoughts and feelings that I always have on that 10 minute run. . . . 

why are you doing this?

you don't have to prove anything to anyone?

this is too hard!

do you really think you are going to be able to run a marathon?

who are you kidding?

by minute 8 or 9, I started having a few more positive thoughts

you ALWAYS feel this way on the first mile

look at you - one mile down - only 25 to go

one step at a time - - you CAN do this.

Saturday morning came early - I was exhausted from my Friday ride - and I was sore!  Thank goodness it was only a 10 mile run this morning.  I did a few miles on my own and then I 'ran like a mother' with the girls - that helped a LOT!  I was so thankful for Liz who ran the last 3 miles with me!  I came home and started my recovery phase of the week:

smoothie

shower

oatmeal

nap

greek yogurt with chia seeds and honey

eggs, spinach and tomatoes

another nap

Wow - I don't know if I have ever been this tired in my life!  It feels kind of good though. . . . 

We went out for dinner to Lethbridge tonight with the family, it took too long to get our meal, but it was tasty and I was glad I didn't have to cook it or clean it up!

Sunday - day of Rest.  Thank HEAVENS!  After we got home from church today - you got it - I had lunch and then . . .  another NAP!  I was still able to go to bed at a decent hour - which goes to tell you how absolutely tired I really was.  Amazing!

9 weeks till IRONMAN - breakthrough - finally

"To keep the body in good health is a duty, 

otherwise we shall not be able to 

keep our mind strong and clear." 

- Buddha

Monday's Brick (30 minute bike/30 minute run) felt good.  I felt strong.

Tuesday's Swim - wonderful.   2 Hour Bike Ride - so nice!  2 hours is dreamy compared to last week!!!

Wednesday' Tempo Run -  Complete physical and mental breakthrough for me.  So, I have to admit that in my past tempo runs, I didn't always run the 5 miles or the 6 miles straight through.  I would run 1 or 2 miles, then take a quick breather, and then do another 1 or 2 miles at tempo.   So today I started running and was figuring out in my head that if I ran 1.5 miles before taking a break, I would take 4 breaks. . . . I'm running, feeling pretty good - I get to 1.5 miles and tell myself, "if you run 2 miles before taking a break - you only have to stop 3 times" ( at this time I am trying to get this over with as fast as possible - cause I really just want to be DONE the tempo run - my least favorite workout of the week).  So I'm running along, and say "just 1/2 a mile more, then take a break". . . . I kept doing this to 5 miles, then I would tell myself. . . "you only have 1 more mile left and you will have done the WHOLE TEMPO RUN WITHOUT STOPPING!!"  Ya - I did it - and I felt good!!!  It was amazing what it did for me mentally!  I realized that this thing is SOO MENTAL - - - I may just have to trick myself through the last 13 miles of the Ironman run!  Ha Ha!  Seriously though this did amazing things for me this week!  Still feeling strong.

Thursday - 60 minute swim - LOVE THURSDAYS.  Except that this is my last training day that the Cardston Pool will be open for me.  Sigh.  Next week I am going to have to have a whole new routine.  I will miss the convenience of the 1 hour swim just taking 1 hour of my day . . . . next week - the one hour swim becomes: pack your lunch and snacks for the day, a 45 minute drive to Lethbridge, a 1 hour swim, a 20 minute shower, get dressed, do hair and make-up,  . . . probably a Costco run, maybe hit Walmart too, lunch on the road, if I am lucky lunch at my mom and dad's, and finally a 45 minute drive home. . . and voila - the day is over.  SIGH.  I will definitely miss my sunrise swims at the Cardston Pool.

Friday - 5 hour bike ride.  I rode to Magrath and met Karen.  We continued on the highway to Lethbridge for about an hour - almost made it to Lethbridge, but turned around and we were completely blessed with an East wind - which made the ride home really nice.  5 hours, 80 miles.  A good day.  I am tired, but I think I could do another 32 miles. . . . if I had to. . . you know . . . for Ironman.  I did a quick 10 minute run after my ride today - - all things considered - feeling good.

Saturday - 16 mile run.  I felt pretty good for the first 3 miles, and then I realized that I was tired and this was hard!  Yesterday's bike ride had taken a lot out of me. . . I ran the next 5 miles with my 'run like a mother' group and that helped -  a good distraction.  I was sad that I still had 8 more miles to go and they were done. . . but one foot in front of the other - off I went - up to the elementary school - back to the bypass ( with a quick stop at the gas station - phew).  By the time I got back near my house, I was only at 15 miles - so I had to run to the Junior High and back home to fit in ONE last mile!  I DID IT!  Tough day, but the week is DONE!  I definitely need a treat today.  Duane called Glenwood Ice Cream Parlor, and I was sorely disappointed that they only had 1/2 a bucket of ice cream left ( today was their last day being open for the season - sad).  Oh well - time to move on!  See you next summer coconut ice cream!

As of today - - - 9 weeks till Ironman. . . and I do believe I am going to make it!  It's ALL mental at this point.  I am realizing, and I kept telling myself on my Saturday run - between mile 12 - 16 that I am physically ready for this. . .

I just have do do the training so that my mind will believe that I can do this - that is the key.

Believe it - Be it!

Florida Ironman 2012